Las Vegas: Days 1-2

We landed in Las Vegas yesterday just after 8:00am (oh the joys of a 6:00am flight!) and made our way together to the Palms where we would be spending the next couple days.


Having been to Las Vegas before (and watching my fair share of reality tv!), I was somewhat familiar with this particular casino/hotel and knew it was known as one of the nicer ones with an amazing pool area. This is also Hugh Hefner's home in Las Vegas, and he owns the penthouse in the hotel. We were all famished by the time we got checked in so made a quick decision to drop off all our bags and then meet back in the lobby to walk to Palms Place and eat breakfast at the high-end restaurant a few of the guys had been to before called Simon. Palms Place is connected to the main Palms hotel and casino by a very long combination of escalators, elevators and corridors. Palms Place is the residential tower, and I definitely noticed more families in this area. Simon looked out over a small, very quiet pool, much different than most of the wild pool scenes I think of when I think of Las Vegas. Our breakfast was delicious (I had a Belgian waffle with mixed berries). Simon at Palms Place:


By this time it was going on 11:00am, and I was anxious not to miss any rays of sun out by the pool, so I hurried back to my room and changed into my swimsuit. It was at this moment that I had the horrible realization all those items taken out of my bag at the Seattle security checkpoint had not been returned. I was missing my sunscreen, contact solution, and numerous other items I use on a daily basis. This upset me SO much. I had already been upset about going through the entire situation to begin with, but now to discover I had checked my bag for no reason and the TSA employee had not even returned my items back into my bag was just crushing to me. I had just bought that sunscreen, and the other things being essentially stolen from me right under my nose were just a hassle...it's not like there are drugstores inside the casino where I could replenish everything. So with complete disappointment, I headed out to the pool and found a stand where I could buy some over-priced $20 sunscreen, lathered up, and spotted an empty chair in a sea of people who looked like they'd been laying out at this pool all summer. With the temperature making this one of the hottest days of the summer at almost 115 degrees and the complete frustration of my morning, I more than deserved a drink at this point, so I ordered a banana daiquiri from the cocktail waitress. Considering the fact that she looked like a really tan model, she was surprisingly pleasant and attentive, fetching me a drink menu and coming around every 10 minutes or so to make sure I was good. I wasn't able to get a great photo of the pool, so here's one I grabbed off the Palms website:


It really was unbearably hot, and without a cloud in the sky, I was a little concerned that even with all the sunscreen I'd put on, my skin might be roasting away. This was pretty much the first sun my body had seen since last summer, so it's not like I had some great base coat to make me think I wasn't going to burn to death out there. I hopped in the pool to cool off for about an hour, staying mostly in the shade. There were blackjack tables in the water, which I thought was pretty fun. A DJ was also setting up, and the pool was getting more and more crowded. I really just wanted to sleep, but again, I was afraid falling asleep in that scorching sun would be a terrible idea, so after only about two and a half hours by the pool, I decided to call it a day. My skin felt really hot, and I just prayed that I wouldn't wake up with blisters all over my body.

I returned to my room (which provided a great view of Las Vegas Boulevard ("The Strip"), took a shower, and passed out in my bed. A few hours later I woke up really wanting to get out to the Strip and maybe find somewhere to eat and explore. Because I had my laptop with me, I was able to do some quick research and discovered the only way to the Strip was a cab that would cost me $20 each way or the Palms shuttle, which was making its last run in about half an hour and would not be making a return trip, so I'd be on my own to get back to the hotel. I also looked up some horseback riding tours outside of Las Vegas I might be able to get to, but discovered I was also too late for any of those. I really could just kick myself - I wish I'd looked at some of those horseback riding tours before I'd gotten to Las Vegas because I absolutely would have spent as much as a couple hundred dollars to take one of those desert horseback rides! I guess that's what I get for not planning out my trip as well as I normally do, but in my defense, I had thought I'd be out by the pool all day. The one productive thing I did get done was I made my car service reservation with Carmel for my JFK arrival. So suffering from complete boredom with nowhere to go, I decided to take a walk through the Palms casino from one end to the other. There really wasn't a whole lot to see, and being a non-gambler, I must say that Las Vegas is perhaps the worst city in the world to be in by myself! The view of the mountains and casinos from my room:


The hotel had provided me with complimentary meals at Bistro Buffet for the duration of my stay, so I finally gave up trying to find anything more appealing and headed to the buffet. I noticed the price on the buffet was pretty outrageous ($20+), so I decided I was getting a pretty good deal and decided to take advantage of this as many times as I could in the next 24 hours. It turned out to be my lucky day because the buffet at the Palms includes free beer and wine. The wine was mediocre at best, but it had been a long, frustrating day and I gladly accepted her multiple refills. Also on the menu at the buffet this Saturday night was shrimp. So I basically gorged on red wine and shrimp cocktails. It didn't really occur to me until well after the fact how disgusting eating seafood in Las Vegas actually is. When I was ready to leave, my waitress filled up a big Styrofoam cup with wine and sent me on my way. Now that's service! It was before 9:00pm and I was feeling particularly lame, especially with this being the Saturday of a holiday weekend (4th of July), and me being in one of the supposedly most exciting, wild cities in the country - and yet here I was, drinking my wine out of a Styrofoam cup and watching a Piers Morgan interview on TV in my room. I decided to quit feeling sorry for myself, so I finished the wine, turned the TV off and went to sleep. Ha! :)

Sunday morning, I was able to sleep until I woke up - much needed! I was also disappointed to see that not only had the color of my skin not changed (I guess there is such a thing as too much sunscreen!), but the sky was overcast and the weather forecast indicated there were going to be some really bad storms rolling through later in the day. Seriously? I got gorgeous, sunny weather in the rainy Pacific Northwest, and now I'm going to get poured on in the middle of the desert? Weird luck, huh? I decided there was only one thing left to do - eat breakfast at the buffet! I stuffed myself (although I wasn't that impressed with the selection and basically made a meal out of hashbrowns and sausage), then came back up to the room to get cleaned up and ready for the show. I headed down to the venue, the Pearl Theater, which was just around the corner from the hotel's elevator bank, before noon to meet with some of the people I'd been emailing and calling for the past few months and do a quick run-through of the venue. Casinos are always so much easier to have shows in - for one, my room is never far away so I don't have to pack a bag of everything I'll need for the entire day! And things just always feel more organized in casinos - room service handles all the backstage catering rather than a third-party company coming in; things like that just make my day and the amount of people I am having to coordinate with infinitely more simple.


After my run-through, I met up with one of the comedians and had a quick salad with him at the 24/7 Cafe in the casino (sorry for ditching you, buffet!). When I headed back down to the venue to finish up some of the prep work, we could all hear the rain pelting what sounded like an aluminum roof above the stage. I headed up stairs to the back entrance of the venue to check out the rain - the wind was blowing hard and the rain was intense - what a rare sight to see in Las Vegas! Fortunately, the rain tapered off before the show started - that would have been incredibly distracting for a comedy show! We had another great show and another late night with me trudging back to my hotel room - that seems to be the norm these days!

This morning, July 4, we all had 7:00am flights back to New York - another early wake up call! I slept like a baby for the duration of the flight except for maybe an hour where I connected to the Delta in-flight wifi and fooled around on my laptop. I landed back at JFK at 2:30pm, and a few minutes later received a call from my driver asking me what I was wearing and that he would be pulling up at the baggage claim doors in about 10 minutes. This sure was less painful than standing in a taxi line that might have taken 30 minutes! We zipped back to my apartment in the city, and I promptly unpacked and went to bed. Another work weekend in the books - and I am leaving with no desire to ever return to Las Vegas!

My trip:

"I'm Leaving Las Vegas
Lights so bright
Palm sweat, blackjack...
Leaving Las Vegas, I'm leaving for good." - Leaving Las Vegas, Sheryl Crow

Miles Traveled Today: 3,656
Total Miles Traveled: 22,655

Seattle: Day 2

Yesterday morning, I was able to sleep in a little bit (with the time change this ended up not making much of a difference unfortunately). I once again returned to the concierge for breakfast suggestions. And once again, there didn't seem to be a whole lot of options. However, she did tell me if I took a left out of the hotel and walked 10-15 minutes, I'd reach the Pike Place Market. I was very excited to hear this, as I hadn't really gone to any trouble to figure out where the market was, but I did know it was a tourist attraction and was happy I'd have the opportunity to check it out. The only other attraction that I wanted to see more than any of these others was the Experience Music Project, but because of the museum's hours of operation and my own schedule revolving around work, there just wasn't a chance for me to make it on this trip.

The EMP building's unusual architecture:


It was a gorgeous day to be out walking around (and walking toward the market was a much nicer, people-filled walk!). I was also overwhelmed with my weather luck in a city that is certainly famous for it's year-round gloom and rain. After passing maybe 50 Starbucks (just kidding...sort of), I reached the steep hill leading down to the market.


Famous "Public Market" sign:


I strolled through the fish market for a while hoping to catch a glimpse of some fish-throwing, but nothing was happening and the place was swarming with tourists, so I decided to just go ahead and locate the restaurant recommendation and get some food!

Street performers in the market:

The spot the concierge had suggested was called Lowell's, essentially a hole in the wall in a row of vendors, and it turned out to be an even more fantastic recommendation than I could have hoped for. Not only was the meal delicious (I had the Oregon Bay Shrimp Omelet), but after placing my order, I headed up to the third floor seating area, which had an amazing view overlooking Puget Sound. I fortunately was able to snag a table right at the window in the crowded upstairs, and after the server brought up my meal, enjoyed a leisurely breakfast in complete peace looking out over the water. Toward the end of my meal, my phone started ringing off the hook with calls from the radio station and venue, so I decided it was time to head back to the hotel and get packed up for the long day ahead. Lowell's was such a lovely find, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a tasty omelet and a serene view:


Just a few blocks from the hotel was the Paramount Theatre where my show was being held later that night. The theatre is on the National Register of Historic Places, first opened in 1928 as a vaudeville theatre. It was beautiful inside, and the dressing rooms were definitely set up to accommodate a Broadway production rather than four comedians who don't need a wall-length vanity. It was a very long day at the theatre, but the people I worked with from the venue and radio station were probably my favorite I've dealt with thus far.


We had a 6:00am flight from Seattle to Las Vegas that came very early this morning. I also had my first TSA encounter and am still enraged about it. First, the security line was ridiculous. We easily waited half an hour to get up to the scanners. I very carefully had all my liquids/gels packed into the required 3 oz. containers in a plastic bag. I would dare say I have perfected traveling on even long trips with only a carry-on. The TSA employee, clearly just bored in his dead-end career and looking to exert some sort of fantasy authority, informed me my plastic bag was too large and I needed to take out enough items so that they would fit in the "correct" sized bag. When he showed me the size my items needed to fit in, I was horrified. I was going to have to take out a LOT. I argued with him for a good five minutes, but eventually I started taking out things I knew I'd be able to buy in Las Vegas - toothpaste, lotion, etc. I had my big perfume bottle, face sunscreen and some other items that I just had to get through because of how specific they are to my needs. In this whole process, somehow the things I was taking out of the bag got separated. When I finally realized this asshole of a TSA agent wasn't even going to be remotely lenient (it's not like I was wearing a turban, good God), I decided I would just let the airline win and pay the $25 checked baggage fee. (It should be noted that in all the times I have flown with this exact same set up, this has NEVER happened. The Seattle-Tacoma airport might want to chill out...no one important is coming in or out of your stupid airport). They were so kind to let me know I wouldn't have to wait in the security line again and could just come straight back up to the scanners once my bag had been checked.

In an effort to make this as painless as possible, I left my heavy purse with the comedians who had gotten through security with no problem, and retreated back to the check-in lines to check my bag. As I got closer to the front of the line, I became acutely aware that I did not have my wallet with me. It was in my purse, which I'd left with my traveling partners on the other side of security. So now I was going to have to mooch off of a complete stranger. It was at this moment I decided I'd never go to an airport again without washing my hair or doing my makeup. I spotted my victim, a younger guy probably a few years older than me whose ticket indicated he was on my same flight, and explained to him what had happened. I was pretty much near tears at this point, so I think he just felt really bad for me. He gave me the money, but the look in his face told me he didn't think he'd ever see me or that money again. With my bag checked and security clearance at last (with no lack of dirty looks shot at the TSA employee who gave me such a hassle), I met up with the comedians at the gate. I was completely frazzled, but I did finally locate the good Samaritan and paid him back the $25 plus a coffee I'd picked up for him.

Requirements from the TSA website, which I had followed very carefully:


At this point, I was still shaking from my unfortunate morning and was very happy to be on the plane out of that airport. I was seated next to one of the comedians on the plane by some strange coincidence, so we chatted for a while about his recent Wyoming vacation and then eventually passed out, catching up on at least a few hours of sleep I had missed.

I'll write about the rest of the trip picking up in Las Vegas when I get back to New York tomorrow. Viva Las Vegas!

"Catch the first plane in the morning
I won't be sleeping tonight
I won't be late for that flight
'Cause I'm sick of Seattle." - Sick of Seattle, The Smithereens (I actually liked Seattle a lot, but after that airport experience I was ready to get out!)

Seattle: Day 1

Just a couple weeks back in New York and I'm back out on the road for work again, this time to Seattle, Washington. I was particularly excited about this trip because this is a place I've never had the opportunity visit, and now I can finally check it off my list! My boss wanted me to book my flights on this trip through our company's travel agency, Journey Corp, which I was very much opposed to and grew even more so over the course of the process. The reason my boss wanted to use the agent was because I would be flying into Seattle-Tacoma from JFK, flying from Seattle to Las Vegas, and then making my return trip from Las Vegas to JFK. So basically three legs that would have to be booked separately from one another. I have never used a travel agent because I am very confident in my ability to plan out trip logistics and don't feel the need to pay someone a commission to find the same flights. Well, in this case, I actually ended up paying the travel agent a commission to find more expensive flights. I was so annoyed! I had found the flights I wanted to take on my go-to site, Travelocity.com, for the relatively reasonable price of just slightly under $700 for direct Delta flights. I wanted the agent to book these flights for me, but by the time she finally called me back, the price had already gone up. She ended up booking the same flights, tacking on her commission to the price, and charging me over $800 for the exact same trip I had found a week before and could have booked for $100+ cheaper. Lesson learned: I will never use a travel agent again! Although I did fight using the travel agent the whole time, the fact she couldn't even find something that cost the SAME as what I had found on my own made me lose all faith. Needless to say, I chose to book my own flight from Seattle to Las Vegas for $175 on Alaska Airlines, which is the same flight all the comics would be traveling on. Fortunately, Alaska has a deal with Delta so I was able to accrue more Skymiles for this entire trip.

Next, I decided to use a car service since I would be spending the morning at work and having to go straight to JFK Airport from the office. I decided to go with Carmel, referred to by New Yorkers as "The Sixes" because of its easy to remember phone number 212-666-6666. The car service picked me up a couple hours before my flight and ended up actually being cheaper than a taxi would have been going to the same destination. I'll definitely start considering Carmel as a mode of transportation, even when work isn't covering the expense, when I'm headed to boroughs outside of Manhattan (which makes the taxi meter go up exponentially). I also received a $5 coupon on my receipt, so instead of taking a taxi, which is what I was planning on doing, I think I will actually just reserve a car while I am still here in Las Vegas and have a car waiting to take me back home when I land back at JFK on Monday! Anyways, I am getting ahead of myself.

I took off from JFK at 3:45pm on Thursday and landed a little after 7pm. It sure was nice gaining back all that time flying through timezones so that I still had a few hours of daylight left to go do the one thing I'd been really looking forward to doing - seeing the Space Needle! I took a 25-minute cab ride from the airport to my hotel, the Grand Hyatt, on Pine Street. My cab driver made sure to point out the sports stadiums (the Seahawks' stadium in particular looked much smaller than I would have expected) as well as the Space Needle. I was shocked at how small the Space Needle was; I was definitely expecting something that would be towering over the rest of the skyline, but it wasn't like that at all - I really had to squint to find it in the midst of the other buildings. The cab ride was over $40 and totally wiped out my cash supply (I keep forgetting New York is the only city with credit card machines in its cabs!). I checked in quickly when I arrived at the hotel and raced upstairs to drop my bags off and hurry to the Space Needle. The Hyatt totally won me over with the plate of grapes, cheese and crackers waiting for me in the room! This was a very welcome, refreshing snack before I set out on my solo adventure. I'm still not positive whether this is normal for all guests, but assume I had been registered as some sort of VIP guest to get this little treat. It's good to be the boss! :)

I've definitely become a fan of relying on the hotel concierge for physical maps, directions and food suggestions in these cities I am unfamiliar with. Although I'd done a little Googling and researching on these things prior to my trip, it's still nice to ask a local who knows what kind of area they are pointing in the direction of and if it's safe for a young female to be setting off on her own through it. The concierge at the Hyatt was helpful and indicated that while the Space Needle was walkable from the hotel, it was at least a 30-minute walk and a cab may be my best bet. I agreed and decided I would walk back to the hotel using the map she provided me after seeing the Needle, but I was in a potential time crunch to beat the sun setting (I really wanted some nice sunset photos) so needed to get there the quickest way possible. She also gave me directions on how to get to the nearest Wells Fargo ATM, which ended up being literally right behind the hotel, and also advised me that walking back from the Needle down 5th Avenue would be the best route for food.

I found a cab quickly after hitting the ATM, but I noticed there weren't many cabs around, so I think I just got lucky. I would probably have the hotel call for one ahead of time if I were going to do it again. The cab driver got completely lost which really annoyed me. Not only am I asking him to take me to the biggest (the only?) tourist attraction in Seattle, but the Needle was in our line of sight for the entire ride - all he had to do was just drive toward it! Anyways, after a lot of arguing I finally got him to shut off his meter, and I told him I'd just pay him $10 (the meter was at $7 when I realized he had no idea where he was going). We finally made it to the Space Needle and I walked right up to the ticket booth and bought my ticket ($18) for the observation deck. Doing some earlier research, I had learned there is also a $24 "Day & Night Pass," which allows a person onto the observation deck twice in a 24-hour period (so that one can view during both daylight and nighttime hours presumably). However, I felt like I'd probably timed my trip so that I'd get both of those with my general admission ticket, so I decided to save myself the money (and another potentially ridiculous cab ride). I then made the long, winding walk to the elevator that would take me the rest of the way (and of course the obligatory green-screen photo stop). When I reached the top of the jam-packed elevator, I was dumped off in the middle of a cafe/bar that went all the way around the top of the Needle. Had I not been flying solo, I may have grabbed a table and had a glass of wine, but I was really just there to get in, take some photos and get out!


I headed to the outdoor perimeter of the observation deck, which provided an excellent view of Puget Sound and the waterfront on one side and the city of Seattle on the other. It was incredibly windy, and with the sun going down it was getting a little chilly up there even with a light sweater jacket on, so I decided to go back inside and wander around a little. There were some really interesting computerized maps with information and zooming tools to get a better look and also some knowledge of what exactly you were seeing in front of you. Sunset is apparently a popular time for viewing and the indoor area was getting a little crowded, so I bid the Seattle skyline adieu and headed back down to the base where I took some photos looking up at the Needle.



I then got my bearings with the map the hotel had provided me and started walking back down 5th Avenue looking for somewhere to eat (it was past 9pm at this point and it had been hours since I'd had that little snack in my room). I was definitely disappointed at the nightlife I saw in Seattle on a Thursday night. I don't know if maybe the road that was suggested to me just wasn't the right one to be walking down, but to say the roads were deserted would be an understatement. I never really got nervous or felt unsafe, but I definitely didn't think it was the greatest position I could have put myself in...I was basically walking under an interstate on a sidewalk with no one in front of or behind me. The road was lined with shops, but at this hour nothing was open. Perhaps during the day this is a more lively area? I did eventually get to a stretch of 5th Avenue with a FEW restaurants, but not the back-to-back-to-back bars and restaurants with people spilling out of them the concierge had me think I'd be encountering. The restaurants I did pass were all very nice (i.e. expensive) and were not really what I was in the mood for. I finally stumbled upon the Taphouse Grill, which was the only place I passed that appeared to have any life inside of it. The bar and restaurant were pretty crowded, which was a welcome sight after my 30-minute walk in almost complete silence with not even a passerby to catch my attention. I settled into a seat near the end of the bar and had the lobster bisque and a Seattle sushi roll with tempura shrimp, both of which were delicious. And yes, the only reason I ordered the Seattle roll was because it was called the Seattle roll.

Taphouse Grill:


By the time I had finished up my meal, it was nearly 11pm, my eyes were droopy, and I knew I had a big day of work the next day. I was only a couple blocks from the Hyatt at this point, so headed back and was asleep in no time!

Miles Traveled Today: 2,852
Total Miles Traveled: 18,999

Chicago: Days 1-3

This week was the next stop on the comedy tour in Chicago, IL. This trip also marked the first time I'd be traveling alone for one of these trips because my boss was out in LA and would be meeting me in Chicago shortly before showtime. In addition to the travel and being alone in a strange city, I'd be responsible for the entire setup of the show on my own, which was definitely a lot of pressure. This was the second time I'd been to Chicago, but I stayed outside of the city before (and I was much younger), so I really didn't have much of a sense of anything except for the chill and the wind that Chicago is famous for.

I booked a late-morning flight on Delta for Tuesday morning. I have decided to stick to Delta when traveling for work as much as possible. Delta tends to not be the cheapest (and money is no object when it comes to these work trips), but they do seem to have the best time options, and I really want to start building up my Frequent Flyer Skymiles points, so thought with all the travel I have coming up for the tour, I should stay consistent with the airline.

I arrived in Chicago early Tuesday afternoon at O'Hare, met up with my driver and headed for the Sax Chicago where I'd be staying. Although there was apparently a Cubs game later that afternoon, there was not yet much traffic so the drive to the hotel was only around 30 minutes. When I arrived at the Sax, I hadn't even stepped out of the car when a hotel employee was greeting me with my check-in packet and room keys and grabbing my bag to take up to my room. Now that's service! By this point I was starving, so I quickly dropped my things off in the room then decided to wander and see if I could find somewhere to eat. The area the hotel was in turned out to be a very nice area with no shortage of bars and restaurants. This made me very happy, as I would not have to leave the little bubble around the hotel to do anything. I took a quick walk across the North Dearborn Street Bridge right outside the hotel over to the venue, the Chicago Theatre, to pop inside and say hi to the crew that was already putting together the stage for our show the next day (I was very excited to see that the venue was only a block and a half over the bridge from the hotel!).


The Chicago Theatre is on the national register of historic places, and it is just as beautiful inside as you would think a theatre on that list would be! The theatre had a beautiful dome with murals painted in it and all gilded in gold. There were gorgeous chandeliers hanging throughout the lobby and showroom.


By the time I left the venue, I was desperate to find a place to eat, so just walked a few more blocks until I found a restaurant with sidewalk seating, the Rockit Bar and Grill (it was a beautiful, sunny day in the mid-70s, so sitting outside hit the spot!). I ordered a salad, the BBQ pork sliders and a glass of wine. The food was delicious, and something about sitting out in the warm sun with my glass of wine watching people on the street was so relaxing that I could have sat there all afternoon! I did want to walk around a little bit before the sun went down, so after I finished up my late lunch, I made my way toward Millennium Park on foot, using the map on my phone as a reference, but generally wandering aimlessly. I somehow found myself in a more residential area that was quiet and peaceful compared to the areas I had just walked through. This is definitely where some of the wealthier people in the city were living, and I saw lots of families with little kids walking through the fountains and park down the hill from the condos. I thought about heading over to Navy Pier, but I wasn't in the mood for a Ferris wheel or cotton candy, so I thought it might not be worth the walk and made my way back to the hotel.

Millennium Park:


I checked in with the concierge to see if they had any ideas about where I could go to get a Chicago magnet and then followed their directions to the nearest drugstore, where I found the perfect magnet - a replica of the Chicago Theatre! By this point, people were getting off work and meeting up at all the restaurants in the area, so I decided it was time to get back to the hotel and order myself some room service. While I had hoped I might find somewhere to grab food while I was out on the magnet run, I decided I didn't feel like sitting in a restaurant eating dinner by myself, so I let the giant Caesar salad in the room solve the problem.

The next morning, the sky was unfortunately overcast and it looked like it might rain all day. I had a little time to kill before I needed to report to the venue, so once again took the concierge's recommendation on a "diner" type place where I could get a wide variety of things (I wasn't quite sure what I was in the mood for). Approximately 4 blocks from the hotel was a fantastic diner spot called Eggsperience Cafe. It was pretty crowded for a Wednesday at mid-morning, so I opted to sit at the counter where I could watch the TV and not be bothered. I ordered the chocolate & banana crepes, which were amazing! I wish I could fix crepes like that for breakfast every morning.

The rest of the day was spent working at the venue and finding a chance to get back to the hotel to clean up between rain showers. This was a long day having only one person doing the job that two normally do, so it was well after midnight by the time I trudged back to the hotel in the rain with all my things. I went to the promoter's office on the 4th floor of the hotel just to re-confirm my pickup time for the airport (5 a.m. - yuck!), and discovered there was a VIP reception on that floor for all the people participating in the comedy festival that week. So as much as I knew I needed to try and grab a couple hours of sleep before my flight, some of the guys I had been working with all day convinced me to stay and have a drink (which turned into three or four) and I ended up getting more of a cat nap than the few hour's sleep I had hoped for. The next day was just a blur of stumbling through a very crowded airport, boarding a plane in Chicago, getting off a plane in New York and sleepwalking through a day at the office. You better believe I crashed hard when I got home that night.

No more 4am wake-up calls when I have a full day of work that day...or maybe no more peer-pressure drinking?

My trip:


"Take me back to Chicago, I still dream of the lake of peacefulness
The warm summer breeze..." - Take Me Back to Chicago, Chicago (I thought this was a good quote because the weather was beautiful when I was out wandering around and it did feel peaceful...although I have no idea where that lake was!)

Miles Traveled Today: 1,580
Total Miles Traveled: 16,147

Washington, DC: Days 1-3

The next stop on our comedy tour was this weekend in Washington, DC. Having been to our nation's capital once before to hit all the monuments and tourist attractions, I was not bothered by the fact that the duration of our stay this time ended up being shrouded in gloomy, overcast weather and intermittent rain showers. I didn't have any tourist attractions left to see, so I would just be following the itinerary we had planned out for the couple days we'd be in town.

My boss and I arrived at the W Washington DC hotel, conveniently located a couple blocks from DAR Constitution Hall where our show was being held, Thursday evening around 9:15pm. I was excited to see that the view from my room looked out over the street and the Treasury building, but that is basically where my praise for the hotel ends. This particular W hotel is very modern, but it has gone overboard and resulted in an awkward room layout. Were I not staying in the room alone, the layout would have been rather uncomfortable, as the frosted glass shower backs into the bedroom and while only a shadow would be visible to someone sitting in the room, you can still clearly make out a person in the shower. Awkward. In addition, the sink and very small counter space are located outside of the toilet/shower area in the main room which just made for an overall bizarre and inconvenient layout that I didn't care for at all. I much prefer a more classic hotel room with the sink and a large counter in the same room as the shower and toilet!

Photo from the W's website. Not an exact replica of the room I was in, but gives a pretty accurate visualization of the shower situation:


The comedians and I met downstairs an hour later after settling into our rooms at J&G Steakhouse and had a nice dinner together. It's really gratifying to get to have these less "work-related" moments with the guys and be able to connect with them on a more friendly level. Oh, and to have a really expensive meal I am charging back to my company. I had the Sichuan Pepper-crusted Yellowfin Tuna, which was delicious. We sat around and chatted for a while, then all decided to call it a night.

The next morning, we were all up early for morning radio. The comedians were being split into two groups, so it was necessary for me to go with one of the groups, while our security guy went with the other. We were not going far, but we did have to drive the length of Embassy Row, past all the consulate buildings separating our hotel from the radio station. This provided no shortage of laughs, and I was thoroughly entertained. There is never a dull moment when you are sandwiched between two professional comedians on a 45-minute drive. We also had a little bit of a game going as to who could identify the flags flying outside the buildings. This was a gorgeous drive through a part of DC I had not seen before, much like being in New Orleans and then popping up in the Garden District.


The comedians spent about an hour at radio, and then we headed back to the hotel. My boss and I walked a couple blocks away and grabbed a quick omelet breakfast at the Corner Bakery. When we got back to the hotel, we were told that the view from the rooftop bar is incredible, so we decided to go check it out (sans 'bar' unfortunately!). There had been a line for the elevators the night before around the time we arrived and went to dinner - people completely dressed to the nines - and we had learned that the W's rooftop bar was the "it" place to go out in the city these days. The view was pretty awesome - it looked right over the White House's residential lawn. Had Obama been in town and wanted to grab some fresh air on his porch, we most certainly would have been able to see him. We mused for a little bit as to what kind of security they must have, considering what a clear view we had right into the most famous American home. Do they have snipers that had their eye on us the whole time? You almost have to believe they did.


At 10:45am, we were ready to head out on our next adventure of the day, and something everyone was very, very excited to get to be a part of. We had been invited by the U.S.O. to visit the wounded warriors wing at Walter Reed Army Medical Center while we were in town. This is something lots of celebrities do when they visit D.C., so I was very excited our comics (and myself!) were going to get to be a part of it. A few days before we left for our trip, we were notified that several times a year, the Pentagon hosts a special luncheon for the wounded warriors where they bus them and fly their families in to eat lunch and be recognized by high-ranking army officials. It just so happened that the day we would be in town, May 13, would be one of these special luncheons, so they were inviting us to attend this instead of the hospital! What a special experience to not only get to meet these brave soldiers, but to get to do so in one of the most fortified buildings in the world that very few people will ever get to see the inside of!

We first had to meet up with our liaison from the USO at a nearby hotel, and then under her escort, we were taken into the Pentagon compound. Getting up to the actual entrance of the building was literally a 10 minute drive from the official "entrance." It was a long, winding road that zigzagged back and forth, always keeping the iconic Pentagon walls in view. The whole drive was very climatic as we inched closer and closer to the building! The driveway indicated there was to be no photography from the road or the parking lots at the Pentagon. I was able to snap a quick photo undetected from the back of our SUV, though, of the sign at the checkpoint that indicated the entrance we were at was for DOD permits only. It all felt very James Bond-esque.


By noon, we were heading into an entrance marked "Department of Defense - The Pentagon," and going through metal detectors much like the airport...except that these workers were wearing fatigues and had automatic weapons. I'm pretty sure if the idiot TSA employees carried so much as a pocket knife I'd never fly again! We were then led down several long corridors to get to the banquet hall where the luncheon was being held. We were passing doors with signs on them that said things like "Afghanistan Task Force" and "International Terror Monitoring." It was overwhelming to imagine the important, world-changing conversations going on behind these doors. We also learned a few interesting tidbits; for example, our USO escort told us that although she is in the Pentagon every day and knows there are at least five floors below ground, she's never seen them and has to imagine the building goes much further down than that. It's pretty amazing to think that even people who work in the building every day still are completely in the dark on things as simple as that. By the time we got to the hall, I was so disoriented that I couldn't have found an exit if I'd wanted to. Well done, Pentagon Security. As simple as the layout should be (it's basically a circle, right?) it was very confusing with the inner rings and outer rings. I never really clarified exactly where we were in the building. I believe we were in the A ring, but I'm definitely not sure which of the five sides we were on.

Before we went into the room where everyone was waiting, our USO escort gave us a quick briefing: we were going to see some very gruesome injuries, the guys want to talk about their injuries and they are comfortable with it so feel free to ask questions, if we started feeling uncomfortable we could get an escort and leave the room, etc. (escorts were required just to visit the bathroom across the hall). I got more nervous at this point...I don't know what I was expecting to see, but what I saw was far more disturbing and made me more emotional than I thought it would.

Upon entering the luncheon, the first emotion that came over me was just complete intimidation. There were approximately 50 or 60 service men and women (approximately half of them in uniform) sitting at long tables with their families. At each table, there were at least a couple kids (people that were clearly younger than me) in wheelchairs. At first, nothing really appeared to be out of the ordinary, and I started walking around with the comedians as they greeted each table and handing out t-shirts and tickets to the show to the people who wanted them. However, I soon realized these were not just people in wheelchairs. As they started to wheel around the room and greet each other, I discovered most of them were missing both of their legs. People were missing 3/4 of their limbs. One guy we met told us his hum-v had rolled over an IED. He was missing both his legs and his face looked like a grenade had exploded on it - the entire left side of his face was practically stripped. He was actually one of the few who had visible wounds on his face. There were a few people not in wheelchairs, but I quickly noticed when they got up to walk around, they had severe limps. Everyone here had been profoundly changed by the war both physically and mentally, guys who aren't even old enough to drink or rent a car. It was so touching to hear their stories of bravery, and although I was standing on my own two feet, they made me feel weak.

In addition to the soldiers and their families, there was some serious army firepower in the room. The Secretary of the Army, John McHugh, was in attendance, as well as a 4-star general and some others who were very decorated. After I'd made a complete lap around the room, I shrank back to the wall and just watched each table light up as the comedians came over and shook hands and made the guys laugh.

After the luncheon had ended and all the soldiers were taken elsewhere, we headed back out through another maze of corridors and turns and escalators to the brand new USO wing in the Pentagon. Our USO escort was obviously very proud of this shrine, so we all acted as impressed as we could. Everyone was ready to get back to the hotel (and I was anxious to get over the venue) because we were running a little behind schedule at this point, so we didn't take much time to really give this area the time it probably deserved. One cool part of the exhibit were the photos beginning in 1941 when the USO was founded and going through present-day, showing different celebrities performing for troops overseas. Old photos of Bob Hope, Marilyn Monroe and many others lined the walls, documenting the 70 year history of the organization.

We were led back out the entrance we came through and took this opportunity to do a quick photo shoot, which we were warned several times was not allowed. But there was no way we were leaving the Pentagon without photos outside it's famous walls!



We got stuck in horrendous traffic getting back to the hotel, so the rest of the evening was a flurry of rushing around to get the show set up in only a couple hours. I learned that DAR Constitution Hall (where our show was being held), is a protected historic building built in 1928, and that every president since Calvin Coolidge has attended events there. I thought it was a beautiful theater, and the backstage was so distinct and everything just had an "old" feel...dark oak door frames, creaky wooden doors, etc. The show went well, and we even had a big group of the wounded warriors we had met earlier show up with the free tickets we had given them, which personally made me really happy to see them out doing something normal and having fun (even if it was from the constraints of a wheelchair). The next morning, my boss and I were up early and headed back to New York. As part of a deal we had made the night before, if I was up and ready to go at 7am, we would stop and eat breakfast at Cracker Barrel (a restaurant chain that abruptly ends in the mid-Atlantic region and a personal favorite of mine).

The hashbrowns were delicious. :)

My trip:


"And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me. " - God Bless the USA, Lee Greenwood

Miles Traveled Today: 452
Total Miles Traveled: 14,567

Northeast Casinos: Mashantucket

This past weekend, I was in Mashantucket, CT, for another stop on my comedy tour. Although I spent time at the casino just down the road (Mohegan Sun in Uncasville) several years ago, I was particularly excited about this trip to Foxwoods Resort Casino - it is one of the largest resort casinos in the world (and the largest in North America), has more slot machines than any other casino in the world, and it is also home to Mashantucket Pequot Museum, which was at the top of my list of things to squeeze in to my work schedule!

My boss and I left the office in New York at approximately 5:30pm on Friday evening and much to our surprise, hit hardly any traffic on our trip north. Foxwoods is literally in the middle of nowhere at the end of a long, curvy, desolate road. But the good news is that we were pulling in to the resort by 8:30pm.


We were being put up in the new wing of the casino, the MGM Grand, where the brand new theater (where our show is taking place) is located. We spotted an Italian restaurant, Alta Strada, right around the corner from the hotel check-in, so quickly dropped everything off in our rooms and then met back downstairs to get some grub. The restaurant was practically empty, yet they still asked us if we just wanted to sit at the bar and eat. Odd. I'm always a big fan of eating on my company's dime, so I rarely hold back. I got a glass of the cabernet sauvignon, a Caesar salad and the ricotta ravioli, which was delicious! The promoter for our show met up with us and chatted for a while, which seemed to drag on forever...I was fading quickly and we couldn't call it a night soon enough. Plus, I needed to wake up early to hit the museum first thing in the morning!

The museum opened at 10am the next morning, so I was up and ready to go after a great night's sleep in my plush king bed (another great perk of work trips...sleeping in a huge bed!) When I asked the VIP concierge the night before where the museum was, he indicated to me I would have to walk all the way to the opposite end of the resort to the third tower, so I allowed about 30 minutes to make the walk. Walking through the casino at this hour was pretty enjoyable...no cigarette smoke, no real noise, and hardly any people. There was almost an eerie calm over the entire place, which is pretty hard to find in a casino! It definitely took a while to make my way all the way to the sign that indicated I had arrived at the museum. So you can imagine my surprise when I found the door locked and could see no one at the front desk. I asked a woman working at a coffee booth across the hallway, and she had no idea why no one was in there. I was very disappointed - after all, this is really what I had been looking forward to this entire trip for!

After sitting and waiting for about 10 minutes with no one showing up, I found the number of the museum and called. They told me I was not at the museum, I was only at the museum's "information center," and that I would have to take a shuttle to the museum because although it was on the Foxwoods "campus," it was not actually connected to the casino. I was so frustrated! This was going to set me back nearly an hour, and I only had a little bit of time to play around with before I had to get into work mode. I ended up having to make my way all the way back to the MGM Tower where I started to catch the shuttle. What a waste of time my little journey was! The shuttle came almost immediately and took approximately 15 minutes to run its route and get me to the museum. When I arrived at the museum at approximately 10:45am, it was pretty obvious why this was not housed within the casino - the building was massive! (Although the photo below doesn't really do it justice).



Admission was $15, but I had a $3.00 off coupon I had grabbed at that completely pointless "information center." At this point, I knew I only had an hour to get through the entire museum, so I focused on the main part I wanted to see - the reconstruction of the traditional Pequot village. The artwork and weapons and tools galleries were necessary evils which I had to fly through to get to the village. I did spend a little time in the clothing gallery...but who hasn't seen Native American clothes, right?

When I walked into the room where the "village" was set up, I was a little bit overwhelmed. First of all, it was incredibly realistic. There were ambient noises of things like birds and bugs and flowing water pumping through the speakers. The large domed ceiling was painted very realistically to look like the sky. There were live trees growing. The pathway through the village was made of dirt. There were sound boxes by each wax figure speaking in the native tongue to give the illusion they were just living their life and I was lucky enough to peek into it. And although I knew the mannequins were all made of wax, they still felt freakishly real. I was also one of only a couple people in the room, which added to the calm that felt settled over the village. The space was also huge and made it feel believable that this is what an actual Pequot village actually looked like, out in the middle of an otherwise-uninhabited Connecticut.

Each wigwam hut had a scene going on outside it - whether it was an elderly woman mashing up food, or a young girl learning how to weave a basket, or two boys playing in the trees above the hut with their bows and arrows aimed at a squirrel in the tree across the way. There were also a couple huts you could actually walk in to and see just how small of a space one family was living in. It was all so incredibly well done, that I just can't say enough positive words about it. I was beyond impressed at how immersed the space made me feel in the Pequots' daily life and culture. Here's a picture of two men paddling through the river that winds down one side of the village, while a woman cleans fish next to her home.


The audio tour that went along with this part of the museum was also very well-executed. It described each scene as I came upon it, and then gave several options to learn more about something that was highlighted in that particular scene (i.e. the Pequot diet, tools used to hunt, etc.) It was really fantastic, and I don't think anyone who goes all the way to Mashantucket, even to gamble, should miss it!

On my way out, I found the room where a 350-500 year-old dugout canoe was being housed. The canoe was rescued from the bottom of a nearby lake, and is obviously a great source of pride for the museum, as two different greeters on my way in both mentioned to me to be sure and see it. It was pretty incredible to think of the natives rowing away in this canoe hunting for fish. I think it would probably submerge in it's current shape:

When I decided I had seen everything I came to see (in just over an hour, no less), I made my way back up to the main floor (the entire museum was built underground), and back out to the driveway to wait on the shuttle. A shuttle drove up after only a couple minutes of waiting, and I was back in the main casino a short time later. The show went well that evening after a long afternoon of working in the venue, I slept like a baby, and woke up eaaaarly the next morning for the drive back to New York with my boss, which only involved a couple pockets of traffic.

My trip (Atlantic City to the south and Foxwoods to the north):


"I have discovered that finding a song that mentions Connecticut is impossible." - Nicole Klein

Miles Traveled Today: 140
Total Miles Traveled: 14,115

Northeast Casinos: Atlantic City

My job is going to have me traveling a bit more coming up this next year with a comedy show I am producing, which bodes well for logging my travel mileage! I won't necessarily be staying in any one place long enough to see all the sights, but hopefully I'll be able to sneak a few touristy activities in from time to time, especially in the cities I have never been to. First up, Atlantic City, NJ.


I've been to Atlantic City several times for work now, and I find it less and less appealing every time. Something about smoky casinos and degenerate gamblers...in New Jersey...just doesn't really do it for me. I decided to invite my friend Marggee to partake in my all-expenses paid holiday weekend. Normally on trips like this, my boss would just drive me to wherever we were going, but because Marggee and I were trying to make a long weekend out of this rather than just arrive in time for the show, we investigated the many different modes of transportation that would get us there. The most attractive option was the relatively new ACES Train, which is essentially a speed shuttle between New York and Atlantic City. The problem we ran into is that it has a very limited schedule and runs only on the weekend - not accounting for a holiday Monday. The ACES Train was unfortunately out.

So we decided to rough it and check out the bus options. After checking rates between several different bus companies, we found the cheapest and quickest round trip service to be on Megabus. The bus left out of a totally disgusting Port Authority terminal at 8:30pm, which meant we had plenty of time to get there after work. The ride took only a little over 2 hours and cost only $36 (although my travel could be expensed, Marggee's couldn't, so the price was a consideration). We had a winner. Because neither of us had ever taken public transportation to a casino mecca, there was no way we could have known the unbelievably low caliber of clientele this bus would attract. We were two of the only people on the bus who actually had overnight bags packed; these were people going to gamble all night without having to pay for a hotel room. Fortunately, we did not have to interact with these heathens at any point, so we took the very front seats on the bus, connected to the complimentary Megabus WiFi and entertained ourselves by watching Julie and Julia on Netflix.

The drop-off location for the bus was Caesar's Palace, which is right in the middle of the main section of casinos, but nowhere near our relatively remote destination, The Borgata, which is separated from the general hubbub and mayhem of "downtown" Atlantic City (and for that reason seems to attract a slightly higher caliber of riff-raff). We were greeted when we stepped off the bus with a $20 voucher good for the slot machines inside Caesar's. Now if that doesn't make enduring the Port Authority bus terminal worth it, I don't know what would! This effectively made our transportation feel as though it cost next to nothing, plus we would get to do a little gambling for free - since neither of us would have actually spent our own money to gamble! We put a trip back to the Caesar's slots on the top of our to-do list for Sunday when we would have an entire day to kill.


We got checked in (VIP concierge, thank you) at the Borgata and immediately went in search of the employee cafeteria, for which we had all access passes and planned to eat as many meals as possible in. Calling it an "employee cafeteria" really doesn't conjure up the right image, I don't think, because this was more akin to a delicious buffet of home-cooked food. Everything was amazing, and we gorged for an hour next to cocktail waitresses and pit bosses who probably thought we had somehow snuck in to their hidden food wonderland. My favorite thing I ate in the cafeteria was the baked tilapia, and I would hit the tilapia section up several more times over the course of the weekend! The entire menu was rotating though, so there were always new things to try. My boss thought we were crazy and teased us about eating the cafeteria food when I could be expensing meals in the nice restaurants in the casino, but I don't think I could have eaten anything I would have enjoyed more, quite frankly. Sausage and hashbrowns and pancakes for breakfast and lots of fresh fish and meat and veggies for lunch and dinner...every time Marggee and I sat down with our overflowing plates of food, we would just laugh at each other and say things like "I am so happy right now." HA! Poor, malnourished New Yorkers.

Saturday I pretty much had to work all day setting up the show, so although I told Marggee to go to the spa or do something fun (or sleep), she ended up staying by my side most of the day helping out with the minutiae of producing a major comedy show. This was very helpful, since in the past when I've done this, I had always had a helper, but she no longer works for the company, so now it is just me flying solo. We had two sold out shows on Saturday night and a final sold out show on Sunday night in the Event Center which all ran smoothly.


I felt bad not being able to go play with Marggee all day on Saturday and basically having her stuck with me working, so on Sunday, we decided to take the shuttle to The Walk, Atlantic City's vast outlet center. The shuttle picked us up right in front of the Borgata and took us on a 15-minute ride that cost less than $2 to the outlets. There were hundreds of stores (we probably made it to 10 of them) and some great deals. Even though I'm not much of a shopper, even I couldn't resist some of the cute clothes I found at some seriously discounted prices!

From the outlet center, we made the short walk over to Caesar's Palace to redeem our $20 slot vouchers. Of course, to redeem them we had to provide all sorts of information, so I'm pretty sure I will be getting junk mail for free rooms and buffets at Caesar's from now until eternity. We blew through the $20 relatively quickly (although Marggee had a stroke of luck that only prolonged the inevitable). Because Marggee had never been to AC, I took her out the back entrance of the casino so we could walk down the boardwalk a little ways, which is personally my favorite part of this abysmal town. After wandering around aimlessly for about 20 minutes, we finally figured out where the shuttle would pick us back up and headed back to the Borgata to scarf down another cafeteria meal and get ready for the final show.

The Atlantic City Boardwalk:


After the show on Sunday, we went with the promoter and all the other people involved with the show to the little swanky bar in the middle of the casino. It was so incredibly smoky (and I was wearing some new outlet clothes!) so I couldn't wait to get out of there and get to sleep. Not to mention, the smoke was starting to bring on either some kind of allergic reaction, or was just making me physically sick. So with that, we hit the sack. The next morning, one of the comic's publicists was taking a limo back into New York that the casino had provided for her (long story), so although our bus tickets were round trip, we quickly ditched them and hopped in the limo bright and early. We all slept the entire way back, and I'm pretty sure we all crawled into bed and slept the rest of the day and night.

I enjoyed this trip to Atlantic City a lot...although I didn't get to go out on the beach as I have in the past, it was fun to have a friend around, and going shopping and gambling away free money was a nice reprieve from the usual monotony of work trips to this otherwise dreadful place. Next up: Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut!

"Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty
And meet me tonight in Atlantic City..." - Atlantic City, Bruce Springsteen

Miles Traveled Today: 254
Total Miles Traveled: 13,975